Listening to: Gorillaz


Reading: Election Results

Writing About: Making terrible choices, Voting


This is Not an Endorsement

I work pretty hard to keep my political opinions to myself.
I can almost guarantee you don’t know who I voted for, and that is intentional.
This is not an endorsement of a dead gorilla for president.
And that is an important point,
because even though the election season is over for now:
Harambe will be just as dead in 2020.
So…not an endorsement.

Let me catch you up, real quick

I am young enough to know that Harambe is a Gorilla that was killed
when a three year old child fell into his cage in a Cincinnati zoo.
I know this because it’s a “thing.”
The internet loves Harambe.
Middle school kids talk about him all of the time.

I am old enough to not understand why this is a thing.
But rest assured, it’s a thing.
People love Harambe.
Google it.

The Harambe Write-In Campaign

There are no real numbers on this, and all reports are conjecture.
But it is clear that at least sone people voted for Harambe this year.

Harambe was not 35 years old.
Harambe was born in the US,
(but as a Gorilla he is probably not considered a natural born citizen.)
Also he is not human.
And he is dead.
Harambe was not going to become the president.

But registered voters.
Thinking(ish) adults doing their civic duty.
Went to their polling places and wrote his name in.
They didn’t skip the vote, it’s not about laziness.
But they also didn’t choose the “lesser of two evils”
They made a ridiculous protest vote.
More power to them!

Voting is complicated

I know some people who fall so deeply in love with a candidate (or party)
that voting always feels simple to them.
And, like all other types of fanatic love, these people are usually able to make sense of their choice in any circumstances.
They are able to play up the good, shake off the bad, and feel confused by everyone who has a tough time choosing.

I am not going to tell you how I vote.
But I can tell you this.
I am not one of those people.
I have never once voted, in any election, then left the booth feeling great about my choice.
I think most of the world felt that way this year.

So, when an adult feels perplexed by the situation they are given.
And they decide that instead of choosing the lesser of two evils,
They will reject the idea that there are only two choices,
And they throw away their vote.
I don’t fault them.
Even if they wrote down the name of a dead gorilla.

Again, this is no endorsement.
But I’m calling it now.
next year’s Harambe Voting Story:
“Kanye For President”