Listening to: Ben Kweller

Reading: Posts about easy ways to make everything the way it’s supposed to be

Writing About:  Easy ways to make everything the way it’s supposed to be

Intro | The Method:

Recently there has been an epidemic of advice columns posted on my newsfeed.
I only read the headlines, but apparently it’s pretty simple
to convince your kids to make their beds and not laugh at fart noises.

I am bossy, and direct.
It’s how the Lord has blessed me.
(And cursed anyone who is near me when I think I know how something should be)

So here we go, I am going to fix your life.
Simple instructions.
Easy Steps.
Do or Do Not.  There is no try!

Two steps to understanding your teenager
1. Think back to when you were a teenager
2. Give Up, then hold on tight!
Two steps to eradicating bad behavior (globally):
 1. Don't be bad
 2. Don't have kids
Four steps to fixing your financial trouble:
 1. Count your money
 2. Count your bills
 3. Spend Less
 4. Make More
Four Steps to Proper Bible Usage:
 1. Keep the big picture in mind
 2. Focus on doing the big picture things
 3. Don't get hung up
 4. Don't do it alone
Two steps that lead you to saying no to things you don't want to do
 1. Ask yourself, is this thing worth my time?
 2. If it's not, say no
Three steps to graceful hair loss for men
 1. Accept your fate
 2. Lean into it
 3. At the appropriate time, be wholly bald. Waxed with shiny pride!
Two steps to losing weight, if you don't care about health (only pounds)
1. Fewer calories in
2. More calories out
Two steps to getting rid on an unwanted pet
1. Convince your spouse to let you get rid of it
2. Do what you have to do, by any means necessary
Four steps to getting involved in a church
1. Temper your expectations
2. Choose a Church
3. Go there
4. Get frustrated, get over it, stay there. (or start over at step 1)
Two steps to achieving your dreams
1. Figure out what your dreams are
2. Make plans, then follow those plans
*bonus* (Don't dream of stupid things.)
One step to being more caring and sensitive
1. I don't know, listen? Get in touch with your emotions. 
   Fake it till you make it?
2. I give up, someone else can write this one.

 

fixed it

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